Andrew Kristy is burning
We’re currently in a dry stretch for sports. The only professional sport currently in action is baseball, and I’d rather have a porcupine as my dentist than sit down and watch 9 innings if it’s not late September or October. Naturally, off the field sports issues are thrust into the limelight. Even though I’m not Jim Rome and I’m not currently on fire, here are some thoughts that have been stewing in my cranium about the world in sports today.
I’ve often wondered about if I had a chance to fight any professional athlete who I would want to take on. This winter I overwhelmingly concluded that I’d like to swash-buckle 6′ 5” Ben Roethlisberger in a Mortal Combat type fight. I know this is kind of an old issue, but I’m a Steelers fan and I haven’t had a keyboard to vent on how much I dislike Mr. Roethlisberger.
Ben Roethlisberger at his finest
Notice I said Mr. R instead of Ben Roethlisberger. See, Ben has given me some of my favorite childhood Steelers memories; The Immaculate Redemption, Super Bowl XL (the ball was handed to him under center, he didn’t do much else, but still), Super Bowl XLIII and all of the plays where he flings tacklers off like he’s fighting through the opening scene in Gangs of New York. But, off the field Mr. Roethlisberger is a goon and it’s gotten to the point where I may have a hard time rooting for him. Case in point: From Jack McCallum’s May 10th Sports Illustrated article, “Roethlisberger held aloft a tray of tequila drinks and shouted, ‘All of my bitches, take some shots!’” The 28 year old boy acts like I might next year as a freshman in college if my name were Pauly D or Snookie. I love what he’s done on the field, but I’d rather see him living his life in Minneapolis as the quarterback of the Vikings. I’ll take Jake Locker, please.
Dear SportsCenter, I’m not here to call you FavreCenter or to rant on your nonstop fascination with The Decisions of standout athletes, but rather to comment on the fact that you and your show are being taken over by advertisements. I don’t want the Bud Light Top 10. The bottom line is sponsored, segments are sponsored and I fear that pretty soon I’ll be watching Adam Schefter’s insight sponsored by Charmin Ultra Soft. I get that you need your ducats, but I’m sure you’re raking in enough money to prevent SportsCenter from becoming QVC.
Speaking of products and advertising, I must say that I’m intrigued by Gatorade‘s new G-Series. I’m seriously considering testing out the 3 part formula before, during and after a workout and comparing it to the same exact workout a different day with water as my drink. We’ll see. Possible column idea.
P.S. If you didn’t like reading about Gatorade in that paragraph, tell SportsCenter you don’t want ads getting in the way of your enjoyment.
I’m also fascinated with Jeremiah Masoli. You know him as the kid who put up 2,815 total yards of offense for the Oregon Ducks last year. He then followed that impressive season up by compiling an impressive criminal record: Guilty to a felony burglary charge and guilty to marijuana possession (on separate occasions). After being kicked off the team by coach Chip Kelly, Masoli was allowed to walk on to Ole Miss and will play football for the Rebels. He’s enrolling in graduate courses at Ole Miss, enabling him to legally play in 2010. Now, I’m not judging Masoli (because if you read this you may change your mind on Masoli), but I do think the NCAA needs to examine its rules and loopholes involving these types of situations. I’m no legal buff, but it seems a bit shady to me that a player can be given a second chance so easily after being convicted of a felony. I’m all for second chances and I hope Masoli can bounce back and turn his life around, but if he starts at all this year you’ve got to wonder what current starter Nathan Stanley feels about the ordeal.
I wonder if the Redskins could have gone to the streets to find a 6’6” 350 pound man with more drive and heart than Albert Haynesworth.
This guy is already suited up, and he may even be in better shape than Albert Haynesworth
All the guy needs to do is fire out of his stance and hold up two or three offensive lineman from advancing to the linebackers. I’m sure Jimmy from the hardware store would do it for free if he knew he’d have the opportunity to play in the NFL. Haynesworth is the same person, only he’s cashing in $100 million for being a boulder with a Redskins helmet on his (presumably) size 9 3/4 head.
Speaking of big heads, I’m looking at you Bud Selig. Now that A-Rod has hit his 600th homer, I want my asterisk. Every player that has ever used steroids in their career, for any amount of time, to gain an advantage, earns a * next to their stat line. That way the fans can decide for themselves on the *: They can ignore it or treat it as the Scarlet Letter.
Sorry, I’d write more but I’ve just recently been sprayed by the fire extinguisher.
Kudo’s re: Mr. R. Pittsburgh isn’t going to suck bad enough to get a shot a locker, I’m counting on the Seahawks to do that. I fear Matt Barkley will opt out and Pete will take him. Matt’s a nice guy, he’s also a Christian, but I’m a lifelong Husky fan (I even resemble the pun) and seeing Jake in a Seahawk uni would be a dream come true.
Re: Sportscenter Give them a break. They have to earn a buck like anybody else. If somebody were to offer you money to sponsor AtoZSports, you might find it hard to turn them down. I lived at time when ESPN didn’t exist. Think of life without it, then the little irritating ads don’t seem as bad. I watched a DVR’s version of the movie 2012. They inserted an ad right over the top of sub-titles! Now that’s something to complain about. AS Colin Cowherd put it, we cover sports, the weather station covers weather, Fox covers the Tea Party, CNN has had non-stop coverage of the oil spill. When a hurricane comes the weather station is going to cover it, even if it’s the 12th one of the season. When LBJ decides to change teams, ESPN covers it. When Tiger cheats, they cover it, when Farve retires a third time, (oops now he says he didn’t) they cover it. Ratings pays the bills. Good point though, I don’t like the sponsored by’s either, but attend baseball games at Safeco field and watch football / soccer games from Qwest field. If they’re willing to pay, how you going to turn them down?
Re: Gatorade — I’d read that column
Re: JM — very well said. Commit a felony go to another school. Accept money, earn big bucks in the NFL, while your Almamater pays for your sins later. Seems fair?
Re: AH — Love the pic, can’t type anymore, I can’t pass the typing test, huff, huff, “where’s my gatorade?”
Re: A-Rod — no asterisk please! Roger Maris’s asterisk was so unfair. Just type SU= Steroid User by their names. The older guys may have not used any performance enhancing drugs, but I doubt it. I bet they all used something at one time or another. Way back in them “good ole days” writers didn’t write about the surly side of sports. Off the field activities were left there, they covered the sport only. That doesn’t fly these days. Babe Ruth needs an AW- Alcoholic Womanizer, Ty Cobb gets an R=racist; so on and so forth. No more hiding, give the public the whole story about all of them.
This was excellent. Please write more often.